An Itch in the Stitches

I had thought of my life as one big entity. I used to think that, perhaps if I just sat down and added to it, appended it, that everything would come naturally, that my life would be filled with each addition. And so I moved toward fulfillment, cramming my head with knowledge, my life with relationships. But the two are not necessarily inclusive. With greater knowledge comes knowledge of the darker, more secret aspects of day to day life. Evil is not banal, in that I disagree with the theorists. Evil hides in us all, clothed in the business suit of banality. It lures us into thinking of complacency and connection, thinking that we are all normal in our sins. And thus, knowledge as data-collection must inevitably lead one to stare at the great precipice that is the human heart and weep uncontrollably.

There be monsters here.

As I floated, evanescent and formless, I became the perfect collector of knowledge. It did not fulfill me. It filled me, bloated me, and I felt cracked and exposed. I watched as men and women cheated on their respective spouse, I watched as men and women contemplated murder, treachery, deceit... all for mundane and banal causes. The most evil of all truths is the fact that evil comes only for the sake of lacklustre and non-dramatic purposes.

"They may seem like monsters here," said a voice. I looked around and realized that the man that I had watched died was now floating with me, watching the same things inside the minds of those in the area. I looked at him, and saw that he too had begun to weep. "They may seem like horrendous and spiteful beasts, but these are the neutral. They are in a state neither evil nor good, but in constant flux. It is a game of what state they are in when they pass on."

I looked at him, and knew not what to say. And so I began data-collection.

"Am I dead?" I asked, already fearing the answer.

"I cannot answer that. I am not the all-seeing. But what I can say is that you are the one I have waited for all my life. You are the one that I understood would come. You are the one that allowed me to pass, so that I might show you what lurks behind our visages. Some have callen me 'truth', but I offer no validity. I merely wish to display for you, and hope that you help me in my search."

I could not see into him as I could see into the others. He was an entity that could not be described, nor understood. I wondered if I was the same entity in his perspective.

"What are you looking for?" I asked him.

"The one who betrayed me."

I observed the intricacies and darkness of the human soul all around me. I could feel his presence, and began to see his form. He appeared melancholy and angry, simultaneously energetic and destroyed. "You will see things more terrible than this," he said simply.

Looking around at all the corruption, all the banal treachery and cut-throat hedonism, I thought to myself, is that really possible?

"What do I have to do?"

He gave me a look, and with it came a cold gust of wind that shot through me. His eyes looked like they were on fire, a wicked smile garnering his face like a wicked decoration. A chuckle pelted out of him, and all around it seemed as if the people, heretofor unaware of our presence, look up in horror. We were not of this world, something beyond, but he... he was something more terrible and powerful than I had previously believed existed.

I simply nodded, unable to deny this man's will. I was unsure of what I had agreed to, I did not know what was to come, but I knew that for all constructive purposes, there was no practical out. Whatever or whoever had brought me into this situation was not about to allow me to make a proper exit.

He smiled at me when I agreed to his plans. He approached me, and I could feel a pressure crushing me. It was the first time since I had begun hallucinating that I had felt my own physicality, and I was literally choking with it. I gagged as he began to laugh, and everything began to become black and cold.

"We go to search for my betrayer. For vengeance is greatest when served with a witness, so the tale of suffering can be told. My betrayer is dead, but that does not satisfy. I have an itch that needs to be scratched; my will is the whole of my law and now is the whole of yours. The suffering shall be legendary."

What was this creature that had taken control over my will? I wondered silently, not daring to speak. And what does my witness do for him that it is so necessary? And if death is not suffering enough... what is in store for this poor soul that has betrayed him?

With that, he wrapped himself around me. I could feel pain and agony acutely-- indeed, it shot through me like a thousand bloody spikes, impaling me with complete pathos. I screamed, but my screams could not overcome my pain. Light and darkness danced with each other in a wicked dance. Everything became singular and opaque. And as I heard a deep whisper from my master, everything became black.

"Into the depths of hell we descent. To the blackest heart, we go, to disturb many a sleeping dog. We shall be visitors in a strange land, and, like true imperialists, extract one of its most valuable assets."